Smell The Epsom

Hit the reset button at Germany’s calmest retreat.

- S. Hottinger-Behmer

In our hyper-connected world, the notion of retreating to far-flung sanctuaries to focus on one’s wellbeing has become a standard practice. Ask around, and you will hear enthusiastic health-nomads rant about their latest Ayurvedic escapade to Kerala, a sojourn at a silent retreat in the Himalayas, or that life-changing week spent meditating in Bhutan.

There is no shortage of options when it comes to evading the frenzy and the trials and tribulations of daily life. Ask a frequent detoxer of the more rigorous variety, however, and you are likely going to end up somewhere in Austria or Germany.

This is how I suddenly find myself surrounded by forests, deep in the Bavarian countryside at Lanserhof, the ultra-polished offshoot of the original Lans clinic in Austria and Europe’s foremost health resort. No stranger to detox cures, I have evoked spirits at Como Shambhala Estate in Bali, indulged in cryotherapy at the SHA clinic in Alicante, radfoodied my way to absolute bliss at Kamalaya in KohSamui and have become a repeat guest at Henri Chenot’s Palace in Merano, swearing by its ‘biontology’ method. It’s fair to say I’m a bit of an expert but the strict regime of Lanserhof’s approach to fasting and balancing your health is notorious, and the first indication that this was not going to be a walk in the park came in the form of an email a few weeks before my arrival. “To ease your body into the first days of the fast, you should abstain from sugar, wheat, dairy products, alcohol and coffee for two weeks ahead of your stay with us.” The second hint was handed to me right at check-in: a copy of “The Intestinal Cleanse” according to F.M. Mayr.