I Confronted My School Bullies
Marie Claire Australia|August 2019

When memories of childhood taunts resurfaced, Carla Caruso knew she had to lay the old ghosts to rest for good

I Confronted My School Bullies

I’m perched on a couch in an incense-tinged side room of a yoga studio. My eyes are closed and I’m nodding as a hypnotherapist softly speaks, encouraging me to cast my mind back to the past. So far, I haven’t been made to dance like a chicken or remove any clothing, like I’ve seen TV hypnotists persuade people to do. The session is actually quite relaxing.

An ad on a deals site has led me down the path of hypnotherapy after a looming book deadline has given me an anxious stomach.

The hypnotherapist asks me to think back to a time when I first felt anxious. Apparently, it’ll help my unconscious mind release past hurts. “Was it before, during or after birth?” she prods. “I was 11,” I blurt, surprised to find my fists clenching.

A memory, long buried, has popped into my mind. Of sitting across from a fair-haired boy in year 7 and hearing him loudly remark on my Italian appearance, on repeat. He would call me names like “Moustache” and “The Sun” (the latter due to my olive complexion). Names that sound harmless now but then stung so much that I’d pretend not to hear him and never say anything back.

He was also the kid who snickered that I should have been the one in my group nicknamed “Black Cat”. (My three best mates and I had a club called “The Cats” and each had feline-sounding monikers, which we rather dorkily painted on T-shirts in glitter paint. My name was “Tiger Eyes”.)

The hypnotherapist now urges me to recall a similar experience, even earlier on. My mind reels to two blondes cornering me in the playground and asking what country I’m from. (I went to a very Anglo school in Adelaide’s southern suburbs.) When I answer that I’m from Australia, the girls tell me I’m wrong, to try again. But it’s true; only my mum was born overseas, in Italy.

Bu hikaye Marie Claire Australia dergisinin August 2019 sayısından alınmıştır.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.

Bu hikaye Marie Claire Australia dergisinin August 2019 sayısından alınmıştır.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.

MARIE CLAIRE AUSTRALIA DERGISINDEN DAHA FAZLA HIKAYETümünü görüntüle
SHANNEN DOHERTY
Marie Claire Australia

SHANNEN DOHERTY

The rebellious actor died in July after a nine-year battle with cancer. Zara Wong looks back at the legacy of a woman who always lived on her own terms

time-read
8 dak  |
September 2024
IN THE WILDS OF ALASKA
Marie Claire Australia

IN THE WILDS OF ALASKA

Nature served up a spectacular array of delights, while cruising the majestic waters of the far north.

time-read
2 dak  |
September 2024
Back to EARTH
Marie Claire Australia

Back to EARTH

In its earliest days, the farm bred draught horses for export. Now Tasmania's 1840 cottage Leighton House has been restored as a glorious getaway

time-read
2 dak  |
September 2024
ODE to LIGHT
Marie Claire Australia

ODE to LIGHT

Created by master perfumer Francis Kurkdjian in 2011, Elie Saab's Le Parfum has since gained a cult following and become an industry icon. Here, Sally Hunwick uncovers the origins of the stunning chypre floral scent

time-read
2 dak  |
September 2024
JEN ATKIN
Marie Claire Australia

JEN ATKIN

The Ouai beauty guru is regularly called on by the Kardashians and a host of other A-listers. Here, she talks about hair, her beauty cupboard and how she keeps up her energy levels

time-read
2 dak  |
September 2024
A NEW DIRECTION
Marie Claire Australia

A NEW DIRECTION

When she was 16, Jordan Lambropoulos told her surgeon she'd rather die than wake up with a colostomy bag. Today - 10 years, countless operations and 14,000 Instagram followers later - she's proof that a colostomy bag is not the end. In fact, it can be the beginning of a whole new life

time-read
4 dak  |
September 2024
LADY LUCK
Marie Claire Australia

LADY LUCK

Rosalía takes her accessories as seriously as she takes her art. The Spanish musician spent three years working on her much-lauded album Motomami, finessing the details and perfecting the finishing touches. And when it comes to her outfits, she's no less specific

time-read
3 dak  |
September 2024
Wait... superhero movies are cool now?
Marie Claire Australia

Wait... superhero movies are cool now?

Who had Emma Corrin and Juno Temple as supervillians on their 2024 bingo card?

time-read
2 dak  |
September 2024
CURTAIN CALLING
Marie Claire Australia

CURTAIN CALLING

Brisbane-born star Vidya Makan steps into the shoes of America's founding mother in the long-awaited return of Hamilton

time-read
2 dak  |
September 2024
LEIGH-ANNE
Marie Claire Australia

LEIGH-ANNE

The English singer on colourism, freedom and reuniting Little Mix

time-read
2 dak  |
September 2024