Bring me my bow…

Patrick Hook has a flight of fancy about his Christmas wish list

- Patrick Hook

Dear Santa, After the annus horribilis we’ve had, I have decided to leave all the gloom behind and instead replace it with a bit of Christmas spirit. I wondered, therefore, if you happened to be in a generous mood, if you could help me with a few excellent presents to aid my foxing exploits?

Since I’m a married man, I’ll leave aside all thoughts of a camo-clad elfette to assist me and focus instead on more mechanical items. One of the first things I’d love is a custom-made shooting vehicle. It would have to be in the style of a dune buggy but with various alterations to suit my requirements. To begin with, it would have to have a very low footprint weight to allow me to drive off-road over areas and at times of year when it’s not normally possible to do so. A combination of ultra-grippy tyres and plenty of grunt would enable it to haul itself through all manner of tricky terrain, but it would also be a hybrid such that I could drive it silently when necessary. The ability to shoot from the vehicle would, of course, be a given.

Aerial scout