The Brag Board

How this popular author and speaker brings positive vibes into her own home

- Jen Hatmaker, Buda, Texas

It was one of those days. I loved my husband, Brandon, and our kids, and I adored the life we’d built together. Some days, though, I just didn’t feel it. Brandon and I have five kids—Gavin, 19, Sydney, 17, Caleb, 15, Ben, 14, and Remy, 11. Despite being enormously grateful for our family (especially after God answered our prayers by bringing us Ben and Remy through the gift of adoption), I sometimes found myself feeling—I’m sure most moms feel this way at one time or another—underappreciated. I felt guilty even thinking it.

Still, some days, motherhood seemed like a game of guilt management, as if I had more obligations than there were hours in the day. Brandon and I were pastoring a church and running a nonprofit, and on top of that I was an author, blogger and speaker. Not that my kids paid much notice. Because I worked from home and therefore didn’t have a “real” job, I was always at their disposal. Remy, for instance, insisted she was “too little” to do her chores. Sydney found a way to disagree with every word out of my mouth, and Ben and Caleb were locked in an endless cycle of bickering.

Normally I liked the chaos, even thrived on it, but at that time (this was a few years ago, so the kids were a bit younger), it felt overwhelming. Growing kids meant growing amounts of everything—more bills, more arguments, more cell phone tracker apps and more food than I ever knew was possible for five kids to consume. I was tired of constantly disciplining, picking up after their messes and trying to impress upon them the importance of speaking kindly to each other. Most of all, I was tired of feeling sorry for myself.