When Your Boss Says 'No'

It sucks to have a great idea shot down at work. But rejection is something we have to accept and learn from. Don’t let it demoralise you, says

- Sasha Gonzales

Most of us know what it’s like to have an idea rejected at work, and are familiar with reasons like “That can’t be done” and “That’s outside of our budget” to “We just don’t have the time or manpower to execute it properly”.

Taking “no” for an answer isn’t easy, especially if you always have great ideas and make the effort to contribute them. If you’re constantly rejected, you may even reach the point where you’re so demoralised, you stop sharing ideas altogether.

Why rejection is hard

Some of us take rejection more personally than others. The reason: We closely associate our identity with the work we do.

“We spend more time in the office than in any other setting,” says Adrian Tan, a career coach with Careerladder, a career coaching and career planning agency. “Some people see their job as a natural extension of themselves and are defined by their work. When something negative happens, they perceive it as a personal attack.”

“It’s human nature,” adds Paul Heng, an executive coach and founder and managing director of Next Career Consulting Group, Asia. “Most of us want to be respected and accepted by the people we work with, so when our idea, feedback or suggestion is rejected, we see it as a rejection of ourselves as individuals. It’s difficult to separate these emotions when working in a team.”

Don’t take it personally

The trick to not letting rejection get you down is to stop counting the number of times it’s happened. Once you start keeping tabs, you will not only feel resentful towards your boss, but angry with yourself as well. These emotions may hold you back from contributing ideas in the future, especially because you expect them to be thrown out, too.