“I Left My Newborn to Go Back to Work”

Parents of babies born on or after April 5th, 2015 are entitled to share parental leave equally. But what’s it like to leave your newborn with Dad? M&B reader Tanya Day shares her story

- Rachel Toal

MATT and I never sat down to discuss our parental roles, we’ve always just known. We met at school aged 15 and got married at 21. Career-wise, I’ve always been the ambitious one, pushing myself and qualifying as an accountant. After school, Matt joined the Forces as a mechanic, later working in sales and as a lorry driver. When it came to earning potential, I far exceeded him.

In our mid-20s, when we were ready for children, we agreed there was no point me quitting, going part-time or even taking full maternity leave. Our priority was to have a constant parent in our children’s lives. We didn’t want them shoved from pillar to post, between nursery and grandparents.

When I got pregnant, aged 27, Matt handed in his notice so he could stay at home full-time. Financially and practically, it was an easy decision. However, on my first day back in the office after having Max, the reality was harder to swallow. Max was just 12 weeks old. His smile beamed down from the photo on my notice board as I sat at my desk. I can still remember blinking back tears. How could I even think about work when my little baby was at home? My guilt was immeasurable. I’d stare at my computer, imagining what Max and Matt were up to.