You've Got This, Mum!

Feeling less secure about yourself now thatw you’ve had a baby? You’re not alone. Here’s how to get a bit of your swag back…

- Hattie Garlick

Having a baby was what you wanted, and your little one is everything you ever dreamed of. So why is it, now your life is fuller, that your confidence seems to be floundering? And why, when everyone’s telling you you’re doing a great job, can’t you quite believe it yourself? “It’s common for women to experience a dip in self-confidence as they become mums,” says developmental psychologist Sarah Schoppe-Sullivan, who runs the New Parents Project. Last year, the results of a 10-year study of more than 84,000 women found a pattern associated with self esteem and motherhood. During pregnancy, it was not uncommon for women to experience a dip in self-confidence. After giving birth, it typically improved for six months, but then dipped again, remaining lower than pre-pregnancy levels for at least three years. So, when we say you’re not alone in feeling like you’ve lost your mojo, you’re really, really not.

“You’re going through huge physical changes, but experiencing big psychological ones too,” explains Sarah. The magic of motherhood can involve birthing not just a baby, but a new identity too. Anthropologists call this process ‘matrescence’ – the process of becoming a mother. “And it’s common to experience self-doubt as your reality changes,” says Sarah. But there’s lots you can do to help you stabilise your self-esteem, and start rebuilding your confidence.

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