Mum Guilt

Mother’s guilt is real, with nearly all of us experiencing it. We feel our best isn’t good enough.

- Donna Davies

We struggle when work commitments prevent us from attending school events, and we are crushed by the looks of disappointment on our children’s faces when we have to let them down. Mums who work all day feel guilt because they are not seeing their children until the evening. We wonder if choices we have made are the right ones for our children. We might feel guilty when we can’t afford the latest gadget for our child or are plagued by the feeling that we just don’t spend enough time with them.

I didn’t really understand ‘mother’s guilt’ until I became a mum. I have two sons who are boisterous, demanding and need a lot of attention. I’ve spent so much time feeling guilty, doubting my ability as a mother and worrying about other people judging me. Running a business means I work a lot in the evenings, and this causes me to feel guilty about the amount of quality time we spend together as a family. I find myself questioning whether this is ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ and I still don’t have the answer.

So what is mum guilt, how common is it and how can we overcome it?

Most of the time, guilt is coming from a negative source. There is good guilt, but that is more than likely remorse, and that is another subject entirely. Back to guilt. Once we allow those negative thoughts in, we give life to them. Our minds are very powerful, and feeding them good, quality thoughts enables us to live a very happy, guilt-free life.

All mums, even the most amazing, attentive and committed mums, at some point will feel that they are not good enough. No matter what we do right as parents, we tend to more often focus on our failings. Mother’s guilt can frequently arise. Maybe you’ve forgotten hats & scarves on your day trip, and it’s suddenly turned cold, or the children have gone to school and left their PE kit behind.