Learning To Let Go

Writer Jenny Handley tells how she learnt the art of parenting a strong willed son, one step at a time...

When our younger son, Warren, aged 23, announced that he and his friend, Tom David, wanted

When our younger son, Warren, aged 23, announced that he and his friend, Tom David, wanted my goals down one year, recall including ‘to expose our boys to people who will give good guidance’. Parenting is not a perfect science. You need all the help you can get. Enter Thabang Skwambane. When our sons were at school, a former learner, Thabang, shared how he cycled solo from Joburg to Kilimanjaro, summiting the mountain, to highlight the plight of orphans and vulnerable children. The last slide of his talk was a photo of him returning home, falling into the arms of his relieved mother. I remember wiping away my tears and thinking, what kind of mother would let her son do something so dangerous?

Thabang started an NGO called the Lonely Road Foundation, and we began working together while I was writing a leadership book. He became a much loved family friend. Warren and Tom did an internship at Lonely Road while at varsity, and the plans for their mission, Walk With Us, started to take shape.

At the beginning of 2017, my goals included ‘to see my sons realise their dreams, safely’, still hoping that Warren and his friend Tom would change their minds. A few weeks before departure, Warren said I was unsupportive, accusing me of showing no interest in the trip’s details. He was visibly upset when I explained that denial was to be my coping mechanism until I could replicate that photo of Thabang reunited with his mom. Meanwhile, my husband had committed to climbing Kilimanjaro with the boys, showing me up, and now giving me two men to worry about!