A Lesson In Sex Education
Inked|September 2019

Sex educator Elle Stanger shares how to have kinky sex safely and consensually.

Elle Stanger
A Lesson In Sex Education

“How do I have kinky sex safely and consensually?”

There are many reasons why people like to have kinky, creative sex. Creative, playful sex keeps our intimacy alive. Scenarios and collaborative roleplay can create memorable and unique bonds between lovers. For many adults stepping into the role of Master, Servant, Mommy, Daddy, or Princess gives them a chance to relinquish the monotony of work, bills, and capitalism-related stresses. Creating a unique role and dynamic in a safe scenario has proven to build confidence in individuals and to lessen PTSD experiences for some. There are so many reasons why people have kinky sex or engage in BDSM or roleplay. When kinky sex is practiced mindfully and consensually, people like myself with complex trauma histories can even heal by reenacting scenarios and giving them different endings.

Studies of American sex lives indicate that between 25-50% of us say that roleplay or BDSM interests us, so let’s discuss how to safely play and spot red flags in potential partners.

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