Kyle Sandilands

He doesn’t care whether you love him or hate him, but he does wish the media would get their act together. Yes, the controversial radio and TV star throws down some serious honest truths in this very personal and exclusive MAXIM column…

Who out there doesn’t like me? I’m on one of the highest-rating FM breakfast radio program in the country. Seriously, who hates me? I’d say it’s all the old f—kwits working at the ABC and people who love Spicks and Specks. But I don’t care about them. They’re not and are never going to be my audience – and I only cater to people who like what I do. To tell you the truth, I don’t give a f—k whether people like me or not. I never really think about it because it’s not in my face. No-one comes up to me in the street and starts mouthing off. The haters are fat freckly losers who sit at home on their keyboards punching out hate on the internet because they have nothing better to do.

The most common things I hear from people I meet are, “You’re much nicer than I thought,” or, “You’re taller than I thought.” I think most people expect this Danny DeVitotype character who is going to walk up to them and spit venom. I don’t get around town criticising people’s weight or their outfits. That’s what I do for a job. Away from work, I’m quiet. I rarely go out. But I don’t really like being by myself. I was going to say the only time I do is when I’m sleeping but that’s not the case, either.

Another thing you should know is that I don’t have a housekeeper because I think I’m the shit. It’s because I’ll be f—ked if I’m going to spend the four hours I put aside every day to sleep, vacuuming. I have a driver, too, but that’s because I’m a bit vague and don’t really know my way around. And because I keep losing my licence thanks to the highway patrol. I don’t try and talk my way out of a ticket – if they get me, they get me. I do love to open it up a little bit.