CATEGORIES

YESSIE!

Massive 'eel' shape lurking in Loch Ness

Mad Vlad consults mystics & shamans

PUTIN SEEKING WAR APPROVAL

Spot the brawl

SCHMEICHEL SCAR AFTER HOTEL FIGHT WITH KEANE

BUNGLING BOZO: SOZ I SAID SOZ

Partygate apology regrets

TONIC YOUTH

Teen trio star as Ange makes it five in a row

CLASS VEIGA

Renato off the mark in Blues cruise

ROVERDRIVE

Icon Dobson backs Robins to break new ground

I WON'T DUCK OUT

Ben's keen to play every format with England

NOSEPAPERS

Funny pongs are guilty pleasures

BRITS FLEE HOLS HITMEN HORROR

Gang execution on resort beach

It's gonna be a flight Christmas

PREZZIES TAKE TO THE SKIES

WE'RE BONKERS FOR BATTENBERG

Net searches rocket after GBBO show

PADDY: I WILL DIE IF I LOSE MY HAIR

TV's Paddy McGuinness fears he won't live long- because he is going bald.

165 pages of 'lies'

FURIOUS TRUMP BLASTS CRIME DOSSIER

WILL'S THE PRINCE OF FOUL AIR..

Film set cleared by his giant fart

So sick & tired of being so tired

75% OF BRITS ARE CREAM CRACKERED

TERROR OF THE GIANT SUN BURP

Solar storm to hit our phone & wifi signals

Spy who laved me

BOZO: BUG IN A GOVT BOG AFTER BIBI VISIT

Snooker flukey

HEARN: HOW STEVE DAVIS 'RETIREMENT' COST ME £1M

IT'S BELTIN'

The night when this wonderful old club wrote the start of a new chapter in their glorious European history.

BOLOGNESE SOURCE MO

Egyptian King's tasty goal and assist

BALLS TO THIS

'Sort it Sheffield or we're off

LEIGH SHARP

Leopards can edge glory

FABULOUS DUO

Andre has faith in Arc pair

STRICTLY ALJAZ: I'M NO SLEAZE

Claims hurt me, I always behave well, says dancer

Pop Rick: Why I had to give up

SMASH HIT A CURSE

DAY DEE NEARLY DIED IN BED

Comedians waterbed hell

All-Kimclusive

JONG-UN OPENS NK ‘BENIDORM’

War on booze

‘RETHINK THE CELEBRATORY DRINK’ PLEA

Have we got clues for you..

POLICE PROBE AFTER HISLOP’S TAXI ‘SHOT’