Tales From The Money Crypt

Crypto exchange FTX's implosion shows a bear market is the only cure for silly financial greed

- Shankar Sharma

Ok, so first up, congratulations are in order to folks who gave the name cryptocurrency. Crypt means an underground burial chamber, and crypts have been as central to Hollywood horror movies as a white saree raindance has been to Ramsey Brothers’ Bollywood horror movies.

The slight difference, in the context of imploded FTX, is that crypto exchanges are being buried right up, on terra firma, in full view.

So, what is a crypto currency?

• It’s an encrypted data string that denotes a unit of currency.

• It is monitored by a peer-to-peer network of specialised computers called a blockchain (which also means nobody’s in charge ultimately).

• The blockchain also serves as a secure ledger of transactions, eg, buying, selling, and transferring.

• Unlike physical money, cryptocurrencies are “mined”, ie, created by computer jocks in places with plentiful electric supply. Including, get ready for this, Siberia.

• Bitcoin, Ether, etc are popular cryptocurrencies.

These cryptocurrencies are traded on various exchanges. Based on some recent history, these exchanges have a strange habit of “exchanging” users’ hard money for soft rubbish, ie, “Your transfer is in process. Please check back in a week” kind of stuff.