Tots Gone wild

If you’re struggling to tame your unruly toddler, it might be time to relax the rules and try ‘unschooling’: the new parenting trend helping kids learn about life

Since he’s turned two and a half, my son William has gone from being an angelic child whose temperament matches his looks—all smiles and big blue eyes—to a monster. It’s scary. He’s become a scowling little thing, covered in blackmail-begotten chocolate while clutching random items stolen from my handbag. I love my son, but he rules our (toy-strewn) home like a mini emperor, yelling for biscuits and turning into an immovable plank when it’s time for bed. The other day, when I was trying to clean his teeth, William looked up and said glumly, ‘Please shut up, darling.’ I was clearly annoying him as much as he was annoying me. Something needed to change. But I can’t be the only mother struggling to enforce rules and often tempted to give up completely. Can I?

TIME TO CHILL

When I confided in a fellow MOT (mum of a toddler)— my friend Francis, from Los Angeles, who’s mum to Ethan, four—she told me about unschooling, the latest parenting trend to hit Stateside. With links to attachment parenting, in which you let your baby lead your routine, this approach promises peace and mutual respect—two things missing from my relationship with William. The main principle is allowing your toddler to show you how he wants to learn and grow. Instead of obsessing about parent-led ideas, such as table manners and playing with toys you think are beneficial, it’s about indulging your toddler in his passions and intervening as little as possible in his relationships with other children. So, if he’s obsessed with fire engines, go with that and visit a station together. And let him dress in his fireman pyjamas (yep, day and night).