Positive vibes

Appreciation and recognition are powerful elements in our lives. But even though we long for compliments, accepting them without feeling awkward is a universal challenge. Patience Gumbo-Chimbetete looks at the issue.

How do you respond when someone gives you a compliment or shows gratitude? Do you shrug it off or respond with self-deprecation? In Shona, the normal response when someone says “thank you” is “muchitendei” (there is no need to thank me). This has a negative connotation as it implies that you are declining the fact that you did well or were helpful. But, it’s so common that people use it without thinking. Because of this, I constantly have to retrain myself towards positivity. You can, too! Counselling psychologist and head of student services at the South African College of Applied Psychology Johannesburg campus, Jogini Packery, offers an explanation. “Unlike Western cultures that celebrate individualism, African cultures tend to appreciate collective successes more. Because of this, we are socialised from a young age to be negative about compliments.” She adds that this is because doing otherwise is considered as being conceited. So, how can we work around this?

SELF-LOVE AND CONFIDENCE