Every relationship has three distinct parts: me, you and us. But when youre dating someone new and amazing, its crazy easy to get so sucked into having fun with bae that you drop your beloved me-time (buhbye, face-mask Sunday) or act salty when your partner wants a day or two alone. (To play Xbox? Ugh.) Its a tricky balancing act especially for Millennials, who are spending more years being single and cherishing their #DoNotDisturb moments than any other generation. (The proof: the average woman now gets married at 27, compared to 23 in 1990 and 20 in 1960. For men, its 29, up from 26 and 22 respectively.)
In fact, giving a new love your all while also preserving some space for solo fulfilment is one of the biggest issues sex and relationship therapist Ian Kerner sees in his practice. ‘Strong relationships consist of strong individuals,’ he says. ‘If you can maintain your individuality and respect your partner’s, you’ve got the basics down.’ To help clients, Kerner and other relationship therapists often use a nifty little Venn diagram that divvies up priorities for couples. There’s a circle of needs for you and one for your partner. Where they overlap is for your relationship, which is an entity in and of itself that has to be fed and nurtured too, writes life coach JoAnneh Nagler in her new book Naked Marriage: How To Have A Lifetime Of Love, Sex, Joy And Happiness. Here’s how you can allocate your time and energy to all three areas so that you, your partner and your bond are feeling plenty of TLC.
YOUR NEEDS
Nights with Your Girls
For every date you schedule with your new plus-one, reserve hang time with your squad that same week. Research shows that female friendships can help smooth the ups and downs of life transitions (such as the job you just started – eek!), and make you feel happier and more satisfied as a whole.
Alone Time
Bu hikaye Cosmopolitan - South Africa dergisinin October 2018 sayısından alınmıştır.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber ? Giriş Yap
Bu hikaye Cosmopolitan - South Africa dergisinin October 2018 sayısından alınmıştır.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Giriş Yap
Marc Buckner
The Bachelor SA Season 2’s star is here to make you swoon. Find out why boss babes are ready to risk it all for this adventurous dog lover.
I Tested Positive For The Alzheimer's Gene At 26 Years Old
A DNA testing kit is like a crystal ball, but what if you don’t like what you see?
Basically No-One Has A 28-Day Menstrual Cycle
Brought to you by: the idea of a ‘normal’ period is a lie
For Those Times When You're Like, ‘I Love You, But You're Annoying...'
Coupledom can be hard!
How To Get Sh*t Done
Calling all procrastinators: sometimes getting started on a new project or goal can be the hardest part. Here’s how to stop putting it off and actually press go
Is Rage Bait Okay?
It has become the new engagement strategy for many brands. Companies bait their followers into engaging with their content around topics that cause outrage. But is this okay? Social -media strategists Talya Goldberg and Jabulile Dlamini -Qwesha share their views.
Is Cardio A Scam? And 7 Other Not-stupid Questions About Fitness Things
Thanks for calling 0800 -WTF- Is -This
Hold The Phone
Zozibini Tunzi is here to remind you all to Take. Up. Space. She’s rewriting the pageantry rulebook, and she wants you to join in (in a bath, wearing sparkly boots, because that’s just how we roll).
How To Tell It Like It Is *And Finally Get A Promotion*
Receiving constructive criticism on your work can be terrifying. But do it right and it can be a career game-changer.
What Makes A Compulsive Liar?
We all do it. Tell those lit t le white lies to ourselves, and others. But what about those for whom lying is a way of life? Catriona Harvey-Jenner investigates the rise of a new kind of scammer.
