WILL DO! Penny's manual for mortality

HOW HER MUM INSPIRED A BOOK THAT LAYS TO REST ANY DEMANDS FROM A DEARLY DEPARTED

- Fleur Guthrie

When Penny Tucker’s mother would return from attending a funeral, she’d often ring her daughter, quietly outraged, telling her about “some idiot who gave a 40-minute speech that went on and on and on”!

After her mum Gem died suddenly from a massive heart attack last year, Penny wasn’t surprised to discover she had written strict instructions in what she called her “death book”, warning that anyone who spoke at her funeral for more than three minutes would be disinherited.

Injected with humour and as personal as it was practical, the guide was a saving grace for the grieving family, who didn’t have to wonder what Gem wanted after her death.

Every detail was outlined, and tackled things that might have otherwise been awkward to discuss.

The matriarch set out specific sentimental items she wanted her eight grandchildren to have, as well as listing all the names and numbers of people to notify after her passing.

“There were lots of differently inked pens involved in the creation of the book, so it was clearly something Mum had been picking up and putting down over months, if not years,”

shares Penny (48). “She was a real pragmatist and didn’t want to leave anything ambiguous. Her view was that families can be damaged by people with different perceptions of the legacy and entitlement after somebody dies.”

Gem had specified in the book that she wanted her funeral to be at the old St Mary’s Cathedral in Parnell, Auckland.