In A Day's Work

This week everyone is in need of Rosemary's help, from Brassy Barbara To Mrs Beasley.

 

As I plunged to the floor and hit the carpet at about 6.30 in the morning, I distinctly remember thinking to myself that it was obviously going to be one of those days.

From time to time I like to offer practical tips to the readers of Woman’s Weekly, so here is this week’s advice: when you decide to roll over in bed, in that state that’s not really asleep but is certainly not fully awake, then it’s essential to check first that there is bed available to roll on to.

As I now know, there is nothing that wakes you up in the morning more efficiently than hitting the carpet unexpectedly, followed by the sound of helpless laughter from the other side of the bed.

The other side of the bed then got up and left me to doze for an hour, having first lectured me about health and safety.

‘Good moaning,’ he said when I arrived in the kitchen. Things, you see, were not immediately improving.

Mr Dear has developed a recent obsession with the 1980s TV comedy ’Allo ’Allo. He happened to catch an episode on the Yesterday channel, and since then he’s been working his way through the rest.

You might remember that ’Allo ’Allo was set in a cafe in occupied wartime France. The cafe owner, René, is on good terms with the Germans but is secretly working for the Resistance.

There was quite a lot of fuss at the time that it was in poor taste, but that didn’t last very long. ‘Good moaning’ is the catchphrase of Officer Crabtree, a British agent who has disguised himself as a policeman but speaks very poor French.