'Her cord was around her neck... she'd died before she was born'

In the hope that it helps others and aids her healing process, Lauren Goodger tells new about the devastating loss of her baby daughter Lorena

- Gemma McCartney

It’s when Lauren Goodger climbs into bed at night, clutching her baby daughter Lorena’s teddy, that the grief of losing her little girl hits her hardest.

During the day she wants to “put on a brave face” for her older daughter Larose, but the pain and feeling of unbearable longing are impossible to suppress.

“When I get into bed in the evening, I just want Lorena there next to me,” she says. “I feel like I can keep strong in the day for Larose, but at night, that’s when it just hits me. That’s when I feel really, really sad and I miss her so much.

“Lorena has a teddy with her now and I’ve got a matching one, which I keep with me. When I say my final goodbye to her, I’m going to swap them over. I’m going to have the one she’s had, and she will have the one I’ve had.”

It’s been just over two weeks since Lorena died and it’s clear Lauren’s grief is still very raw. Her “perfect” baby daughter with Charles Drury, 25, was born on Friday 8 July at 5.26pm, weighing 9lb. With the knotted umbilical cord around her neck, doctors fought to save her, but their efforts were in vain and she could not be resuscitated.

“She was just perfect,” Lauren, 35, says. “She was very, very much like Larose. She had beautiful black hair and blue eyes. She had big lips, a tiny little nose and a lovely skin tone. She looked like a really healthy and solid baby.”

The past fortnight has been a living nightmare for Lauren and she would be entitled to feel angry. But she doesn’t – she just feels numb.