‘I can’t have sex after most of my vagina was removed’

Natasha Owens, 46, from the Wirral hasn't made love with her husband Damian, 51, for 15 years after having an operation to remove most of her vagina. But she says their love is stronger than ever

- ANN CUSACK

People always say that a strong couple needs sex to cement their relationship. I might have agreed 20 years ago. But it’s now 15 years since I made love with my husband, and we’re still very much going strong. We miss it sometimes, but we remain loving, close, passionate and committed.

In fact, despite the knowledge that Damian and I can never have sex again, I would say it’s actually brought us closer together emotionally. The bond we share is deeper than ever. It doesn’t matter to him or me the physical aspect of our marriage. We just find other ways to be intimate and to express our love.

Damian understands that it’s not that I don’t want him. I’ve got used to living without a vagina and I won’t let it define me. I think that I’m more upset than he is about it. At some point, I may need a catheter instead of having more surgery. But whatever happens, we will tackle it head on – together.

It was in my teens when my problems first began. I was 14 when I started experiencing hot flushes. While the rest of my school friends were getting periods and buying bras, I was sitting in class mopping my forehead with my sleeve, having awful headaches and feeling anxious and jittery.

I was tiny and thin, with no sign of any curves at all. I waited each month, praying for my period. What was wrong with me?

“You must be some sort of freak,” I told myself. “You’ll never be a real woman.”

I would later discover that the symptoms I was experiencing was actually the early menopause.

My mum, Rose, bought me sanitary towels every month and I’d stuff them, unused, into the outside bin when she wasn’t looking.