“I’d never think about a girl being smart. If you told me a girl was smart, I would often think she’s not attractive.”
“They want to go through that freaking Passover all the time. . . . Get over the Passover. It was like 3,000 years ago. Okay, the Red Sea parted. Big deal. Not the first time that happened.”
—Rudolph Giuliani in audio recordings.
Lima beans. Lima beans don’t even make sense. No one has ever actually eaten a lima bean. That’s a true story.
You know who else is gay? Clint Eastwood. No one knows. Clint Eastwood. But it’s like a manly gay, if you know what I mean. I know this because I kissed him once. On the cheek. By mistake. It was lovely, though. We went camping.
I’ve seen the Red Sea part twice in one day. I was on a nude beach with Maury Povich, who’s Jewish, by the way. In fact, there are a lot of Jews in Israel. We stood there naked, neither one of us gay, and we watched the Red Sea part. Later, I would realize that I was actually in Brighton Beach, alone, and not in Israel. Although I was nude, except for a large saffron-colored hat.
Bu hikaye The New Yorker dergisinin August 28, 2023 sayısından alınmıştır.
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Bu hikaye The New Yorker dergisinin August 28, 2023 sayısından alınmıştır.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Giriş Yap
BADDIE ISSUES
\"Wicked\" and \"Gladiator II.\"
LET'S MAKE A DEAL
\"Death Becomes Her\" and \"Burnout Paradise.\"
ANTI HEROES
\"The Franchise,\" on HBO.
FELLOW-TRAVELLERS
The surprisingly sunny origins of the Frankfurt School.
NOW YOU SEE ME
John Singer Sargent's strange, slippery portraits of an art dealer's family.
PARIS FRIEND - SHUANG XUETAO
Xiaoguo had a terror of thirst, so he kept a glass of water on the table beside his hospital bed. As soon as it was empty, he asked me to refill it. I wanted to warn him that this was unhealthy - guzzling water all night long puts pressure on the kidneys, and pissing that much couldn't be good for his injury. He was tall, though, so I decided his insides could probably cope.
WILD SIDE
Is Lake Tahoe's bear boom getting out of hand?
GETTING A GRIP
Robots learn to use their hands.
WITHHOLDING SEX FROM MY WIFE
In the wake of [the] election, progressive women, who are outraged over Donald Trump's victory at the ballot box, have taken to social media with public, vengeful vows of chastity. - The Free Press.
DEADLINE EXTENSION
Old age, reborn.
