Fierce Grace

The purpose of a pilgrimage, just as of life, discovered K Geethanjali, is not so much what you can gain but what you can let go of.

- K Geethanjali

Why do we do this to ourselves? I asked myself as the pony I was holding on to for dear life made its descent down the Yamunotri Mountain. As it teetered to the edge, I held my breath. One wrong move, and I could hurtle down the cliff and be a goner! Why, God, why? Do we really have to go through so many sacrifices and so many trials to have a darshan of the deities? Why are they placed in such difficult-to-access places? I was on my Chhota Char Dham pilgrimage and was visiting Yamunotri, Gangotri, Kedarnath, and Badrinath. I now looked at the hordes of ponies carrying their burdens up and down the yatra trail. They had no choice but to follow the urgings of their masters, making the same back-breaking trip again and again. Trekkers braved the rain and jostled with the pituwallas (frail young mountain folk who carried pilgrims in baskets) and the doli bearers. It all looked so scary and chaotic.

As the pony boys reached a treacherous trail, without warning, they asked us to get down and walk a few kilometres up the trail as it was too dangerous for the ponies to do so carrying us. This was an experiment in living in the moment. There was no time to complain or grumble. The trail was slushy as it had been drizzling throughout the trip. Each step had to be taken in awareness lest one slipped and fell. Our joy when our ponies met us ahead of the trail was short-lived as we found we could not mount our ponies yet as there was a jam ahead since pilgrims made their way single file to the goal-the Bluewater goddess, Yamunotri.