How to flourish in a modern world

What does it mean to really flourish? We speak to psychologist and self-leadership coach Dr Maike Neuhaus about finding true fulfillment in a world that seeks to pull us in every direction.

-  Elaine Chennatt (nee Mead)

Some weeks ago, my sister sent me a meme that listed all the things we're supposedly meant to achieve on any given day, written in a stream-of-consciousness-style text. The list ranged from drinking enough water to running a successful side hustle while working a nine-to-five job (which in itself feels impossible). It also mentioned a five-step skincare routine, regular yoga and cardio, eating balanced homecooked meals, making time for loved ones, healing our emotional and spiritual wounds, spending time in nature and embracing our purpose in life.

I laughed because it's so relatable. I want to be able to do all these things, but in what 100-hour day dimension I'm supposed to achieve them eludes me to no end. When did the list of happy-human requirements get so long? Due to social media, we're bombarded with messaging about what we "should" be doing to lead a fulfilled life, how we should be meeting our needs and what success or purpose "looks" like in today's world.

But despite the media around this (much of which is well intentioned), many people struggle to make the ideals of a purposeful life work for them, and the result tends to be one of demotivation and dissatisfaction.

So, what do we do? According to Dr Maike Neuhaus, we need to flip our thinking completely.

Instead of focusing on what we can't achieve, we should focus on how we can flourish.

What is "flourishing"?

When it comes to feeling happy and content in life, positive psychology research tends to focus on two core concepts:

Hedonic happiness: Happiness is the experience of more pleasure and less pain and is composed of an affective state (positive versus negative) and a positive cognitive state (a sense of satisfaction with life).

Eudaimonic happiness: Happiness results from pursuing, attaining and maintaining a sense of purpose, meaning and personal growth.