When you think of the kind of person you are, do you see yourself as an ambitious go-getter for whom failure is not an option? Maybe you view yourself as a low-key person who doesn't like the spotlight. Or is I never quit, even when things get hard or Always up for a fun adventure! how you tend to characterize yourself? Even if your answer is "None of the above," consciously or not, we all have beliefs about who we are that are based on our behaviors, abilities, feelings and personality characteristics as well as on how others see and respond to us. Over the decades, our views of who we are become as solid as clay that has dried in the sun. This is what psychologists call self-concept-a reflection of how you see yourself as a person- and it has a powerful effect on how you act, the choices you make, the attitudes you have and how you move through life.
And then you reach midlife, and maybe you start to feel not quite...like yourself. One reason may be that your reactions, preferences, needs, values, and expectations have shifted over time, but your self-concept hasn't kept up. "We tend to think of ourselves as static, but we do change," says Mark Leary, Ph.D., professor emeritus in the department of psychology and neuroscience at Duke University and author of The Curse of the Self. "It's extremely common to have old views of yourself hanging around. Our early views of ourselves stick with us because they're like glasses through which we view the world."
Just Who Do You Think You Are?
Bu hikaye Good House Keeping - US dergisinin November - December 2023 sayısından alınmıştır.
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Bu hikaye Good House Keeping - US dergisinin November - December 2023 sayısından alınmıştır.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Giriş Yap
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There was a time, earlier in my marriage, when every morning as I walked into the kitchen I braced myself for the rage and resentment that would well up in me.Cupboards left open. Dirty dishes in the sink. Coffee cups strewn around the house. And usually a pair of slippers or shoes, with inside-out socks, on the floor somewhere nearby. Even when I had left the house spotless the night before, I’d wake to a scene of disarray — the mess my husband had left behind on his way out the door for work.I didn’t know which scenario seemed worse, my husband’s consciously expecting me to clean up these messes or his truly not noticing them at all. I found myself silently tallying these small resentments, furious and flummoxed in turn that he seemed oblivious to things that needed to be tidied up around the house. It seemed as if he was always waiting for me to tell him what had to be done, as if he was incapable of noticing the mess himself even when he was creating it.
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