Snuffing out the flames

Has online dating peaked? People are ditching the apps, going old-school, and aiming for IRL connections. Here's how the swipe failed a whole generation

- Arshia

The last time Vinith Krishnan, a 38-year-old investment banker in Bengaluru, matched with a woman on Bumble, was in June 2023. By the time he realised she'd hit him up only for a job reference, a whole month and five dates had gone by. "Imagine how I felt. It's okay to want a job reference, but why string me along for five dates to do that? I ended up feeling like a loser. Things like this didn't happen when we met people at parties or through friends," says Krishnan. He's currently single but unwilling to get back on a dating app anytime soon.

Krishnan had a bad experience, but there are many others who are going off dating apps too - out of something called “dating app fatigue" or "dating app burnout". It's the point at which individuals signing up on these platforms are exhausted from being stuck in the vicious loop of constantly meeting new people with whom they fail to build a genuine connection and going back to the app, only to repeat the process weeks later.

It's affected enough people that a whole generation is starting to fall out of love with online dating. A survey in the US by Forbes Health in July reported that 78% of respondents, across generations, sometimes felt "emotionally, mentally, or physically exhausted" by dating apps.

About 40% of users complained that they couldn't form genuine connections. Others felt let down or outright rejected.