So Now You Need a New Toothbrush Holder

Starting over with a divorce registry.

- Kathryn Jezer-Morton

A FRIEND OF MINE GOT DIVORCED not long ago. Her new apartment is clean and quiet, and every single object in it vibrates with significance. Here is the kettle. Here are the light fixtures chosen hastily out of necessity.

A Divorce brings inanimate objects to life. The sheets you slept on, the kitchen clock that oversaw your morning routine, the wooden spoon that stirred the chili-these can conspire against someone who is trying to start life over, threatening to suck them back through a wormhole to the past.

The belief that our stuff has the power to help us or hold us back inspired sisters Olivia Dreizen Howell and Genevieve Dreizen to set up the Fresh Starts Registry. By 2021, both were out of long-term relationships; Genevieve had ended an engagement not long after Olivia had gotten a divorce. Now, they help people create registries so a community can assist them in setting up a new household.

"We don't see these things as gifts," Olivia tells me. "This is a support registry.

It's not about the sheets and towels; it's about the decisions that you're making to make a big change."

The timelines of life's big milestones have changed-despite some recent setbacks in life expectancy, we're living longer and marrying later than we were decades ago. Our gifting conventions should change as well. Until the 1960s, it was rare for couples to live together before marriage, so a wedding registry was crucial for establishing a livable home. These days, couples often get married with all the cutlery they need but no money for a honeymoon (or to pay the rent, for that matter). Cue the honey fund.

Even as divorce rates have slowed a bit, divorce remains popular. We keep finding ourselves alone in empty apartments with a duffel bag of clothes and a mishmash of objects that remind us of a previous life.