If you ever see me boarding your train, please don't be alarmed. I may look suspicious as my eyes scan the entire carriage, but it's crunchers of crisps I'm searching for, not criminals on the run.
I'd like to think my noisy-eateravoidance skills are standard. Sitting as far away as possible from gum chewers, schoolkids with smelly chips or anyone carrying a brown-paper takeaway bag is a no-brainer.
Yet some of the most serious offenders are shameless. Just when I think it’s safe to settle in my seat, the seemingly innocent, besuited commuter opposite will flip open a briefcase to produce an apple – in plain sight! If it’s a weapons-grade Granny Smith, I will have no option but to move. If it’s smaller and soggier, I will quickly mentally assess how long it will take to eat. My personal threshold of forbearance is approximately three minutes. If I judge the timescale to be less than that, I will stay – albeit with much sighing and glaring, which will doubtless be ignored by the less vigilant (or less neurotic, some might say).
Overwhelming rage
To be clear: I cannot stand noisy eaters. My dream is for a future where signs on public transport read, ‘The eating of anything but the softest and most silent of sandwiches is forbidden. No potato crisps or certain sourdoughs. Penalty: R1 000.’
Bu hikaye woman & home South Africa dergisinin Woman&Home; July 2024 sayısından alınmıştır.
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Bu hikaye woman & home South Africa dergisinin Woman&Home; July 2024 sayısından alınmıştır.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Giriş Yap
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