WALK THE TALK

HOW LEARNING TO COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY COULD SAVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP

There are three things that I truly believe we should get taught in school: how to do our own taxes, what really happens during sex, and how to effectively and constructively communicate. This last skill would be incredibly useful in not only romantic relationships but in work and family relationships and friendships as well. Unfortunately, we don’t leave high school and enter our adulthood with effective techniques and skills that assist us in knowing how to have constructive conversations, and I spend much of my time working with couples and helping them to learn these skills and techniques. Let’s break down the basics of good communication, as well as looking at some specific techniques you can use.

1. Ensure you’re always engaging in active listening – Active listening is pretty easy to do. It means to listen to our partner without thinking about anything else but what they are saying at that moment by being present and fully engaged.

• Maintain eye contact (well, as much as possible), as this helps your partner to really feel that you’re listening and you’re present. When you’re staring off into the TV or your phone, or perhaps even gazing at the floor, your partner will feel less important and may even perhaps feel that you don’t care.