Courting Nanny State

Advocating five-minute showers to offset the rising cost of living invites a label the government won't be wanting to wear

- MICHELE HEWITSON

Hey, you! Yes, you.

We can see you cowering in the shower. We are watching you. You have now been in that shower for five minutes and 25 seconds, which is 25 seconds over your maximum prescribed shower time. Get.

Out. Right. Now.

Having less-than-five-minute showers is an idea in a government "initiative" called, weirdly, Find Money in Weird Places, which offers "free and easy-to-implement tips" on how households could save up to $500 on their yearly power bills. Listen up. As well as short showers, we are encouraged to switch appliances off at the wall and use cold-water cycles to do our laundry. And check down the back of the couch for loose change. That last free tip might have been made up but it's all yours. Gratis. The announcement was made with gusto by Energy Minister Megan Woods and went down pretty much universally like a cup of the proverbial cold stuff.

It is reminiscent of the Helen Clark government scheme in which the Electricity Commission planned to spend up to $3.5 million promoting energy-efficient light bulbs.

There was, predictably, the most tremendous fuss. Ditto in the same year was the 2008 Labour proposal to restrict the use of high-flow shower heads.

You'd think they'd have learnt from those lessons. We really don't like politicians lurking about in our bathrooms.

It's a bit pervy, for one thing.

Woods later admitted, "We've got the tone a bit off in terms of ... how it conveys those messages - particularly at the moment when households are under a lot of financial pressure." Er, no kidding. It came across as patronising.

And the last thing the Labour government wants to wear, once again, is the Nanny State label. Even if the National Party has avoided actually using the term, it is implied in its response. Although, as a snide swipe, people who carry on about nanny states tend to be those who employ nannies.