Since the age of 14, Sarah Reeves wanted to die. Respite from wishing herself dead came in short bursts. Once that respite came when she underwent electroconvulsive therapy, which sent massive electric shocks to her brain. But, the respite lasted only a few weeks. Nonetheless, she was encouraged by the outcome and went through the shock treatment again, only to see its effects wear off in weeks. She also tried transcranial magnetic stimulation, in which magnetic fields are used to stimulate nerve cells in the brain to improve symptoms of depression. Yet, the desire and desperation to die would come back to haunt her again and again.
At the age of 20, she was in a car crash with her brother Matthew. He recalls the first thing she told him after the crash: that she was so disappointed that she had not been killed. In her 30s, during a casual conversation, Sarah asked her mother if she knew what it was like to keep living when you really did not want to. Her mom said she did not know, but sought to know why Sarah had asked. To that, she said that she genuinely assumed that everyone would rather die than live. She did not realise such thoughts were unusual.
Sarah's depression “came on severely” at 14 and she tried “dozens and dozens of medications and therapies”, including cognitive and behavioural therapies, but none worked. When depression responds to medication, that might be enough to keep someone well for life. But, what Sarah had was treatment-resistant depression, in which the brain becomes resistant to medication and, sometimes, to other treatments as well. “No medication would stop me from wanting to kill myself,” Sarah, now 38, tells THE WEEK in an interview from Australia, along with Matthew.
Bu hikaye THE WEEK India dergisinin October 01, 2023 sayısından alınmıştır.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber ? Giriş Yap
Bu hikaye THE WEEK India dergisinin October 01, 2023 sayısından alınmıştır.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Giriş Yap
William Dalrymple goes further back
Indian readers have long known William Dalrymple as the chronicler nonpareil of India in the early years of the British raj. His latest book, The Golden Road, is a striking departure, since it takes him to a period from about the third century BC to the 12th-13th centuries CE.
The bleat from the street
What with all the apps delivering straight to one’s doorstep, the supermarkets, the food halls and even the occasional (super-expensive) pop-up thela (cart) offering the woke from field-to-fork option, the good old veggie-market/mandi has fallen off my regular beat.
Courage and conviction
Justice A.M. Ahmadi's biography by his granddaughter brings out behind-the-scenes tension in the Supreme Court as it dealt with the Babri Masjid demolition case
EPIC ENTERPRISE
Gowri Ramnarayan's translation of Ponniyin Selvan brings a fresh perspective to her grandfather's magnum opus
Upgrade your jeans
If you don’t live in the top four-five northern states of India, winter means little else than a pair of jeans. I live in Mumbai, where only mad people wear jeans throughout the year. High temperatures and extreme levels of humidity ensure we go to work in mulmul salwars, cotton pants, or, if you are lucky like me, wear shorts every day.
Garden by the sea
When Kozhikode beach became a fertile ground for ideas with Manorama Hortus
RECRUITERS SPEAK
Industry requirements and selection criteria of management graduates
MORAL COMPASS
The need to infuse ethics into India's MBA landscape
B-SCHOOLS SHOULD UNDERSTAND THAT INDIAN ECONOMY IS GOING TO WITNESS A TREMENDOUS GROWTH
INTERVIEW - Prof DEBASHIS CHATTERJEE, director, Indian Institute of Management, Kozhikode
COURSE CORRECTION
India's best b-schools are navigating tumultuous times. Hurdles include lower salaries offered to their graduates and students misusing AI