WAKE ME UP WHEN SEPTEMBEER ENDS

Harry Kane and Bayern must be licking their lips at the thought of facing this shambles of a United who couldn't organise anything in a brewery 

- DAVID MCDONNELL

MANCHESTER UNITED'S trip to face Bayern Munich in the Champions League this week coincides with the city's Oktoberfest, the world's largest beer festival.

It's a good job, too, for the 3,779 United fans making the journey, because they are likely to want to drown their sorrows, with the German champions and Harry Kane (next to Thomas Muller, above) ready to compound their misery.

No wonder United boss Erik ten Hag was reluctant to talk up his side's Premier League title chances before the new campaign, despite last season's progress under him.

After three defeats in five games, United are 13th, already nine points behind leaders and reigning champions Manchester City, any faint title hopes gone for another season. Unlike Brighton, who made it four straight Premier League wins over United, Ten Hag's broken side have no identity, no urgency, no unity and no courage.

This latest defeat to Albion laid bare United's many shortcomings.