Totally conkers The world finds itself strung along by the sexy sheen of scandal
The Guardian|October 18, 2024
Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness, close bosom-friend of the Boden gilet. Leaves shed from trees in a blaze of colour, and make their way straight for train tracks. Autumnal light rears up at acute angles, a dazzling reminder that it's always too early to put away your sunglasses. It's this time of year when sports fans' thoughts turn naturally to one of the great annual showpiece tournaments.
Emma John
Totally conkers The world finds itself strung along by the sexy sheen of scandal

We're talking, of course, about the World Conker Championships, which has generated more media interest in the past week than England's men's and women's cricket teams combined. Normally it's small children who obsess over the shiny brown treasures foraged from the footpath. But recent events have proved that adults, too, go bonkers over conkers.

If you've managed to miss the story - how, exactly? - the headline is that the newly crowned men's world champion, David Jakins, 82, has been accused of cheating. The runner-up was suspicious when his own conker shattered on impact during their bout. Asked to turn out his pockets, Jakins was found in possession of a steel conker painted to look like a real one.

The champion maintains his innocence and insists he uses it only for pranking kids. The ring judge insisted that Jakins, like all contestants, picked his nut blind from a bag full of tournament issue. Doctored conkers just aren't possible. But the organisers now say they have extended their investigation, "following new evidence coming to light".

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