The highs of many political careers

Security at the White House tends to take its job pretty seriously, and so when a packet containing an unknown white powder was found somewhere in the White House, it was cause for serious alarm and led to a temporary evacuation.

- ZARRAR KHUHRO

Could this be anthrax or some other biological agent? Had Putin finally had enough of the US arming Ukraine to the teeth and decided to poison Biden? After much scrambling and testing it turned out that the said white powder was in fact cocaine.

We don’t know whose cocaine this was, as despite having round-the-clock surveillance and sweeping CCTV coverage and DNA and fingerprint testing of the packet itself, Secret Service was unable to determine who had left the cocaine, which was reportedly found in a cubbyhole in the visitors’ section which is usually frequented by tour groups.

Naturally, former US president Donald Trump wasted no time in declaring that it was ‘obvious’ that the drugs belonged to Joe Biden and/or his son Hunter Biden, both of whom are the former president’s favourite targets.