Don't complain for the sake of it. Make it count

The writer reflects on Singapore's complaint culture after years abroad. While venting has its benefits, it risks becoming harmful when overdone.

- Chang May Choon Assistant Foreign Editor

A friend shared recently about how she bombarded a customer service hotline to complain about bad service, but to no avail. How can they ignore her, she fumed, adding: “Maybe I should escalate this and e-mail the CEO... or post on Facebook and tag them!”

Sounds familiar? Few will disagree that complaining is one of Singapore's favourite pastimes. From the unpredictable weather to inconveniences arising from MRT breakdowns to the rising prices of cai fan (economy rice), we are used to verbal venting to get things off our chest. Conversations are more likely to start with “OMG did you know” than “It's a beautiful day today”.

Complaining has become a default means of communication. For the most part, it seems we are complaining for the sake of it.

The rise of the internet and social media in recent years has made it easier for anyone to air grievances, no matter how small, in the name of public awareness and social good.

Having spent most of the last decade in South Korea, where small talk is often laced with niceties and flattery, moving back to Singapore left me feeling oddly uneasy. Whenever fellow Singaporeans began venting their dissatisfaction and unhappiness, I found myself wondering – how should I respond?

When used to address shortcomings and right wrongs, complaining can be a powerful tool to effect change. But how often are we seeking action and not mere catharsis when we open our mouths to voice frustration?

I even wondered if our complaint culture, along with the tendency to dwell too much on negativity, has brought us more harm than good. Why don't we shift our mindset towards turning complaints into constructive feedback instead?

NOT JUST WHINING

Complaining has its benefits, to be sure. Psychologists say it helps us to release our negative feelings, gain validation from those around us who feel the same way, and evoke a sense of connection with others.