I learnt to become an Indian bride - one saree at a time

Like her Chinese grandmother, the writer married into an Indian family. One of them was disowned, the other embraced.

- Vanessa Paige Chelvan

When my husband first told his mother about me, she had two questions - "Is she Indian?" and "What's her date and time of birth?"

After my in-laws' initial surprise that their son had chosen to bring home a Eurasian girl, they consulted a Hindu astrologer, who proclaimed that there was "no better lid for the jar".

Apparently, we were perfect for each other, astrologically speaking.

I met my in-laws for the first time at Sri Mariamman Temple in Chinatown - the biggest and oldest Hindu temple in Singapore - because they wanted our first meeting to be in an auspicious place.

I had to shop for the occasion, as I did not have any attire appropriate for the temple, which frowns on shorts, skirts above the knee, sleeveless tops or revealing, overly tight clothing.

When I found myself alone with my mother-in-law at a coffee shop later that day - my husband and father-in-law had gone to buy food and drinks - I decided to take the bull by its horns.

"Aunty, you know I'm very open to learning about Indian culture and Hinduism, right?" I told her, wanting to acknowledge her reservations about having a non-Indian daughter-in-law.

Unused to such a direct approach, she merely smiled and nodded.

Soon after our first meeting, I was invited for dinner at my in-laws' home in Boon Keng.

I arrived with a bouquet for my mother-in-law, and she - to my surprise - presented me with a pair of diamond earrings and my first saree.

When my husband and I decided to get married in 2018, just four months after we began dating, I learnt that Hindu temples are open for weddings only on certain auspicious dates.

We settled on a Sunday morning in late November, leaving us (or rather, my in-laws) six months to plan the wedding.