‘My brother’s Covid death left my parents full of guilt. How do I help?’

To help readers cope with their anxieties in these stressful times, TOI has launched Talk it Out, a series in which expert counsellors answer your mental health queries. This week’s advice is from psychologist Pragya Lodha

- Pragya Lodha

I reside in the US with my family. My parents live in India. Last year, my brother passed away due to Covid. My parents too were admitted to a hospital. My brother suffered a lot in the last days and they witnessed it. After his death, my parents are in severe depression. They are devastated and feel guilty that they couldn’t do enough to save his life. I call them every day. What more can I do to help them?

— Anonymous

Strength to you and your parents for coping with this grave loss. Feeling grief and the various emotions attached to it is expected and comes in phases. Generally, as one ages, it can take a long time to cope with grief. You are doing your bit but your parents may need professional intervention in the form of psychotherapy. You can set up an appointment with a psychologist nearby or online for them. You can offer to listen to them vent (if you have the emotional bandwidth), help recollect memories that may cheer them up, discuss how they can carry his memories ahead, share how you are coping, what is helping you and have more video calls to help them feel your presence better. They may need more support in terms of relatives checking on them or some activity that can help them go on. There are several organisations for geriatric care and companionship that can be of some help.