A Sense Of Balance

Chris recounts a busy month of bizarre accidents!

- Chris Pascoe

Over the course of a very strange past month, everybody fell over. Even stranger, everybody except me, one of the world's most likely people to suffer a ridiculously catastrophic accident.

Firstly, our elderly friend Shirley, she of the volatile temper, leant on an unlatched gate and toppled straight through it, much in the style of Dell Boy in a famous Only Fools and Horses bar scene, cracking a rib. Meanwhile my dad fell over for no reason anyone could ascertain, breaking his hip. Then, not to be outdone, Shirley's husband Wally trumped them all by breaking his hip and a rib. I suppose, given Wally's insistence on never wearing his glasses before 11amdespite then not being able to see anything all morning - it was always inevitable he'd walk off a sea wall and drop four feet to the beach. He claims he'd have been fine if the tide was in. Apart from possibly drowning, of course.