COLIN HOGG Mayhem and mirth with the man about the house Constant CRAVING

With the house all to himself, a carb-starved Colin decides to can the cauli, veto the keto and tuck in!

I've been left home alone again and I’m a little out of practice at it, not having been abandoned for quite some time since the last time. But I’m adjusting to it and I’m quietly considering the possibilities. Though maybe not quietly enough.

When I pointed out the nice steak that I fancied under the supermarket counter, the butcher smiled and said to me, Home alone, eh?” He may have glanced at my shopping trolley, where further clues were on show beer, biscuits, pasta, parsnips, potatoes, along with several other root vegetables, which might seem odd, but not when you consider the diet I’ve been on. And this is where I go out, perhaps a little far, on thin ice.