"Help me get over a betrayal"

When we're deceived by a loved one, healing feels impossible. Here, experts share the strategies to bind your wounds and reopen your heart

Be kind to you 

Go at your own pace

Betrayal is a roller coaster of everything from anger to sadness to hope about the possibility of repairing the rupture, says expert Michelle Mays. “Let yourself feel all these emotions, but hold them loosely so you don’t get stuck in any one of them for long.” Right now, for example, you might be angry, but in a few days, you may believe you can mend the rift. “Rather than rush the process, give yourself permission to sort through emotions at your own pace.”

Ask healing questions

To help make sense of things, ask yourself a few questions, urges Mays. “Is this a relationship you want to repair, or is the betrayal so big, you need to step back? Do you want to have a conversation to gauge their willingness to own their part of it?” Grounding yourself with such concrete questions helps you determine the way forward.

Say goodbye and hello