SNOW JOKE

AFTER A SNOWSTORM DERAILS OUR AUTOBAHN AMBITIONS, WE TAKE THE PORSCHE CAYENNE GT DOWN A ROAD LESS TRAVELLED

- DANIEL GARDNER

THE LAST LE Mans 24 Hour I attended is most frequently remembered for the torrential rain that hammered the great race from start to finish, causing absolute bedlam. Bentley mechanics were spotted in the pit garages frantically opening up panels and drying out sodden circuitry with hot-air guns, crashes caused by the horrendous visibility were tallied faster than the laps, and the iconic glowing brake discs after dark were as notably absent as sunburnt Poms. But, as a spectator, something else stood out for me.

After unsuccessfully searching around in the general location of my tent during the race, I realised I wasn't lost or under the influence of too many a Kronenbourg, but my entire campsite had, in fact, been stolen. I don't mean a few valuable bits and pieces half-inched, I mean literally everything including my accommodation and tragically, my beer, thrown in a van and taken.

That's why my second night at Le Mans was spent not drinking in the palpable post-race atmosphere of the circuit, but in a 'Formule 1' budget hotel. Disaster? No. As it happens, the Pilbeam team was also staying at the hotel after a disastrous race (crashing out on the third lap) and we had a wonderful night drowning our sorrows immersed in conversation about cars. It was great.

Even the best-laid plans sometimes go awry and that's exactly why the Porsche Cayenne Turbo GT you see here is not hunting the 300km/h mark on a German autobahn as was the original plan but, like my unfortunately appropriated tent in the north of France, this adventure also has a happy ending.

The plan started falling apart as soon as I arrived at Porsche's headquarters in Stuttgart to collect the car. It was technically the third day of the German winter and, with typical Porsche efficiency, the Pirelli P Zero summer tyres had been swapped for winter rubber.