CLOONEYS CLOBBER HARRY & MEGHAN!

Blatant snub leaves renegade royals reeling

NEW YORK FLOODING FREES SAVVY SEA LION!

A TORRENTIAL downpour and record floods didn’t rain on the parade of a New York City sea lion who used the rising tide to escape her Central Park Zoo enclosure!

PRESIDENT'S IN THE DOG HOUSE

OLD dog Joe Biden is so busy masterminding his 2024 reelection bid and cementing his political legacy, the president isn’t training his menacing mutt Commander to stop terrorizing White House workers, animal experts bark.

STRIKES GIVE MARISKA MARRIAGE NEW SHOT!

Workaholic forced to spend quality time with hubby Hermann

KIMMEL'S KILLER INSTINCT KICKS IN!

Calls in celeb chips in fight to stay on-air

BROKEN JONAS NEEDS A BREAK!

Begs bros for time off touring over dirty divorce

SOPHIE SETTING JOE'S HASH WITH TELL-ALL PAGE-TURNER!

RUTHLESS Game of Thrones vixen Sophie Turner is planning a scandalous tell-all about her soon-to-be exhusband Joe Jonas - and the singer's former flame Taylor Swift is providing plenty of extra ammo, sources squeal.

WILDE WINS!

Scores mega-LuCKs in Jason custody war

ANGIE'S SMOTHER-LOVE!

‘Dies to micromanage Pax budding romance

WILL & JADA DESTROYING THEIR KIDS!

Marriage crisis taking toll on wilting Willow Woozy Jaden

SPIKE PUT KELLY'S NOSE OUT OF JOINT!

CURDLED Kelly Ripa insists director Spike Lee didn’t do the right thing by her when she was a young actress looking to get a leg up in movies — and sources say she carries a grudge against the famed New York director to this day!

SHREWD MELANIA PUMPS UP PRENUP!

FORMER first lady Melania Trump’s quiet renegotiation of her prenup with hubby Donald ahead of the expresident announcing his 2024 White House campaign has been making recent headlines — but the savvy beauty’s new deal is ANCIENT news to National ENQUIRER readers!

TRUMP EXPOSED AS TOTAL FRAUD!

Judge's findings threaten to end business empire

J.LO WANTS BEN ON THE COUCH!

Fedl-up Affleck nixes Couples therapy as marriage implodes

MILITARY HELLHOLES EXPOSED!

America's troops forced to bunk in harracks coated in mold sewage

DUCHESS SARAH PLOTS TALK SHOW TRIUMPH!

Needs to pay the bills for deadbeat Andrew

BRITNEY BLACKMAILED!

Sore ex Sam wants millions to zip his lips

CHER KIDNAPS DRUGGIE SON!

Sends goon squad to lock him in rehab & sink his marriage

TAY-TAY'S JOCK SCORES ON SIDE!

Kelce's ex warns singer he cheats

KELLY & BRANDON'S NEW BATTLEGROUND - THEIR DAUGHTER!

Fight for control over River Rose's country career

WIN OR DIE!

Sophie and Joe custody battle rips page from Game of Thrones

SLY JESSICA TURNS COUNTRY BUMPKIN!

Simpson taking another shot at Nashville success

MONEY HONEY CASHING OUT!

Bartiromo faces Shaky situation on FOX firing line

WOLVERINE HUGH PUTS ON THE DOG!

Drops a bundle On makeover in wake of divorce

BIJOU BAILS!

Looking to start over after hubby Danny's 30-year rape sentence

THE WHITE STUFF!

Vanna fetches Wheel-y big raise in new contract

SINUS MEDS DON'T WORK!

FDA debunks decongestants

KATY CATCHING HEAT IN BRAND SEX SCANDAL

Fears American Idol judge knew about predator ex-hubby

NASA STONEWALLS ON UFO FINDINGS!

Plays dumb but rules out alien tech

FRAIL JOE'S ON HIS LAST LEG!

New fears oldest prez in U.S. history won't finish term