Read *this* before you snoop

Why we sleuth—and how to stop.

- By Katherine Hammer

PICTURE THIS: You’re at a socially distanced Secret Santa with the squad when a friend hands you her phone to change the playlist (you’re known for having the best holiday music picks).

But here’s the thing: You’ve had on-and-off drama with your girl for weeks—and you can’t help but wonder if she’s talking about you with the rest of the crew. You’re sooo tempted to search your name in her DMs…but should you?

“I once looked through my friend’s messages when I was using her laptop for a group project,” confesses Audrey L., 17. “She had been acting weird, so I searched my name and found out she’d been talking about me with one of our other friends for the past month.”

The information wasn’t uber-incriminating (“just little complaints here and there, like that I was blabbing too much about my crush or making cringey jokes at lunch”) but it certainly made the rest of the interaction, well, awkward. “I felt stung by her comments, but I couldn’t tell her why,” Audrey adds. “I felt like I couldn’t trust her 100%. The funny thing is, I was the one *she* couldn’t trust.”

That’s the problem with snooping. You might discover major news—but can’t ’fess up without admitting you messed up.