The Silent Struggle

When expat life isn’t perfect

Singapore is a vibrant society that attracts sophisticated, ambitious and intelligent individuals from all over the world. But while many expats appear to have it all, the unspoken truth is that, behind the façade, a number are dealing with critical health issues, marriage breakups, financial problems or self-destructive children. And they are doing so while isolated from their most-trusted support network. KIM FORRESTER lifts the lid on the sometimes silent struggles of expat life and gives her thoughts on how we can help those who are afraid to be seen as anything but perfect.

Emily* could be considered the epitome of poise and grace. When I first met her, she was impeccably groomed, had pleasant manners and seemed thoughtful and composed. She had arrived in Singapore some years earlier, following the path of her husband’s expanding business. Since then, she had established herself as a successful and respected member of the expat community.

It was only as our conversation unfurled that Emily’s veneer of social perfection began to crack and her raw vulnerability began to show. Life was not as it seemed; the business was in dire straits, her husband had begun taking huge financial risks just to pay the bills and their relationship was strained by Emily’s intense desire to start a family. Her outer demeanour was one of contentment and composure. Her inner world was one of pain, anger, loneliness, anguish, fear and confusion.