Other people’s successes can hit you hard, admits Deborah – until you realise a very comforting truth
Am I nice person? I’m not so sure. I can be pretty generous. I’ll pay for lunch and I like giving stuff away: socialist redistribution of sunglasses. If required, I can step up as a casserole-maker in a crisis. I’m happy to take your kids so you can have a break. Oh, and I’m more than happy to listen to any of the shittier aspects of your life with lots of understanding nodding.
I don’t deserve any credit for this. There is no virtue in being kind to people who are having a hard time, who are vulnerable. That’s a doddle. But what about people who are ‘zip-a-dee-doo-dah’ and on top of the world? That’s not so easy.
Can you be genuinely, uncomplicatedly thrilled when a friend has some spectacular glamorous success that involves free business class travel and canapés? “So utterly humbled my book has made it onto another ‘best of’ list. That’s 19 and counting. #blushing.” You know that saying: ‘When my friend succeeds a little bit inside me dies’?
I was hoping to say I don’t feel so snarky about people who have achievements not in my purview – say they win medals for sports (I’m not sporty) or have children who are head prefect or something (my kids go to an alternative school so don’t have to do that stuff).
But then I shamefully realised how I had to grit my teeth just a little bit to send clapping emojis to a friend about their new baby – I’m not having another one of those at 50, so surely not jealous? So maybe any event that is joyous for others brings out my mean-spirited side. What’s wrong with me that I have to take other people’s achievements, even the ones I don’t want, as a personal affront?
هذه القصة مأخوذة من طبعة April 2018 من NEXT.
ابدأ النسخة التجريبية المجانية من Magzter GOLD لمدة 7 أيام للوصول إلى آلاف القصص المتميزة المنسقة وأكثر من 9,000 مجلة وصحيفة.
بالفعل مشترك ? تسجيل الدخول
هذه القصة مأخوذة من طبعة April 2018 من NEXT.
ابدأ النسخة التجريبية المجانية من Magzter GOLD لمدة 7 أيام للوصول إلى آلاف القصص المتميزة المنسقة وأكثر من 9,000 مجلة وصحيفة.
بالفعل مشترك? تسجيل الدخول
Caitlin Cady Shares Her Journey
Caitlin Cady always liked being in control, so the thought of meditating scared her. But once she sat down and let her thoughts leave her mind, it proved to be incredibly important to her health. She shares her journey
The Wright Direction
Back on home soil after her stint in NYC, Rebecca Wright shares with Monique McKenzie what she thinks the future holds for the US, and why she is proud of the positive role modelling New Zealand offers her young daughter
View From The Top
She’s just turned 50 and Hilary Barry is feeling happier and more comfortable in her own skin than ever before. The Seven Sharp host sits down with Phoebe Watt to talk about gratitude and why she won’t let the odd barb bring her down.
How To Magnify Your Meal
There are certain natural foods that offer higher nutrients than others, but how do we know which to choose? Anna King Shahab looks at how we can make choices that are backed by science.
My big BREAK
Sometimes things come together in ways we could never have imagined. Sharon Stephenson speaks to three Kiwi women about the pivotal moments that helped launch their careers and businesses to success
MOTHER AND SISTER
Linda Armstrong attended the Linwood Islamic Centre every Friday and on the day of the Christchurch mosque attack she confronted the shooter, asking him to stop. Now her daughter Angela Armstrong is going back over her mum’s footsteps to learn more about her conversion to Islam and the community she loved
The Acid Test For Anxiety
Microdosing involves taking tiny amounts of illegal psychedelic drugs such as LSD or magic Microdosing, the practice of taking tiny amounts of illegal psychedelic drugs, is being hailed by some as a new form of therapy. We separate the shamanism from the science in pursuit of the truth
Queen Of The Beehive
Tova O’Brien is living her career dream, leading Three’s all-female political team in parliament. She tells Sharon Stephenson about reporting from Europe’s hot spots, landing in jail, and what they really talk about in the press gallery
Passion Project: How To Write A Romance
Have you ever secretly thought you could be the next Nora Roberts or Diana Gabaldon? Award-winning Kiwi romance novelist Bronwyn Sell takes you through her 10-step plan
The End Game
Everyone has their own approach to goal setting, but do some work better than others? Monique McKenzie shares the methods that will help you get to where you want to be.
