Wendy AT WAR

A new recruit causes tension at the charity shop

You can sack her,’ said Wendy. ‘You have the authority. Why don’t you sack her?’

‘Don’t be silly. Of course I can’t sack her. She’s only been here a week. And anyway, what’s she done?’

‘She’s probably the most irritating woman I’ve ever met.’

‘You can’t sack people for being irritating.’

‘I’ll bet Lord Sugar would find a way.’

‘I’m not sacking her and that’s that. I couldn’t sack her even if I wanted to – we’re volunteers don’t forget.’

You join me at a high level summit meeting (all right, tea and Orange Club biscuits) in a very agreeable spot that is technically part of Wendy’s garden. However, such is the grandeur of Wendy’s house – which has been in her husband Iain’s family since Henry VIII was in rompers – that you could easily mistake it for open countryside.