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'My late-life baby was a blessing in disguise'

July 25, 2022

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New UK

Joining the "geriatric mums' club" wasn't on Cary J Hansson's to-do list, but here she shares the secret of mixing menopause and Minecraft

- CARY J HANSSON

'My late-life baby was a blessing in disguise'

'I was 44 when my son came barrelling through the doors of the last chance saloon. It was a geriatric pregnancy if ever there was one. Although that term doesn't sit well when we think of a blooming lovely Gwen Stefani, Iman or Halle Berry who had their last babies at 44, 45 and 47 respectively.

But we've come a long way since a pregnant 47-year-old Arlene Phillips was told by her doctor that she should be a grandmother, not an expectant mother. Back in 1990 Arlene was a trailblazer and, yes, her doctor really said that! Astonishing when you consider that women have been having babies in their forties for as long as they've been having babies. Nowadays our child-bearing years are more condensed. We've got careers and Netflix. Who wants to be simultaneously dealing with a hot flush and a dirty nappy when you could be pouring a martini and watching Bridgerton?

So, I want to make it clear - having a baby in my mid-forties was not on my to-do list. As the mother of nine-year-old twins, I'd been there, done that. He'll be the glue that holds your family together, my wise friend said when I told her. And although at the time I wasn't convinced, 11 years on I can say with conviction that she was right. In ways I couldn't have anticipated, my late-life baby really was a blessing in disguise.

OLDER AND WISER

Firstly, I truly believe that the changes midlife brings have served to make motherhood a more enjoyable and less stressful experience. I'm simply further along the road than the other mothers. I know how much time there is for a poor maths test to get lost and then forgotten. It's a marathon, not a sprint, I've often heard myself say to a mother who's probably 15 years my junior.

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