IS NOT DRINKING A PROBLEM FOR YOU?

A week ago, I never would’ve told you that I had a problem with not drinking. I wasn’t one of those people who got messy, cracking open another LaCroix and failing to hide their burps behind a hand. My sobriety had never caused me to commit a social faux pas, like asking friends if I could contribute less to a bill since I’d ordered only a mint tea.

- CORA FRAZIER

As many revelations do, mine began with an online quiz. I was sitting on the couch, listening to the fizz of my kombucha on the coffee table. Do you look forward to your first nonalcoholic drink of the day? I kept scrolling, trying not to think about last Friday at 4 P.M., when a “quick turnaround” e-mail appeared in my in-box and I longed for the instant release of my first sip of tarragon-infused sparkling water. I scrolled back up. Does not drinking interfere with your relationships? I couldn’t help but remember my sister asking on Saturday night if she could open a beer, her toddler propped on her hip, or the friends who I now hang out with only in the context of movie-watching, so that we don’t have to make sober conversation.

“Whatever,” I told myself. “If my friends and family don’t want to not drink with me, that’s on them.” But then I swiped to the next question: Do you feel comfortable only when spending time with people who aren’t drinking? And I had to admit to feeling “seen,” which, honestly, really made me want a Shirley Temple.