Downright Squirrelly

WE ALL WANT our gardens to attract wildlife. In theory. But when it comes down to it we’re rather specific about which are welcome and how we expect them to behave (same as with family and friends). Meanwhile, wildlife has its own agenda and, apparently, little regard for ours. It’s perfectly natural that sometimes the peace unravels.

- SCOTT BEUERLEIN

The first deer and bunnies to timidly approach your Eden are adorable real-life visions of Bambi and Thumper. The new homeowner’s universal response is to melt like butter, call the kids and then muscle the kids out of the way to get a picture.

A year later, a different universal response: bursting out the back door waving a meat cleaver and screaming like a lunatic to chase them off. That’s what having hundreds of dollars of hostas devoured and your saplings mangled will do to a previously sane person.

I’d say bring on some bears and cougars to knock the population down, but then we’d have bears and cougars lurking around with agendas of their own. With wildlife, you see, it’s a case of being careful what you wish for.