When I was a teen, my bedroom was constantly a mess. Everything was everywhere, save for a tidy little path carved out so I could get to my closet, my desk and my bed. Of course, like most teenagers who don't want to clean their rooms, I told my parents it was "organized chaos": "Yes, know where math my book is it's right there under that leaning tower of socks, papers and magazines!" But let's be real - I didn't really know where anything was. It took me at least 10 minutes to find any item in the turmoil of my bedroom. Also, I was hesitant to have friends over, lest they see how messy I was.
When I moved out on my own, I didn’t want that mess — or that reputation — to follow me. So I turned over a new leaf, creating a very organized life in which everything had its place and it was all easy to find.
Doing that kind of “cleaning 180” isn’t uncommon, says Gail Saltz, M.D., a clinical associate professor of psychiatry at the NewYork–Presbyterian/Weill Cornell Medical Center and host of the podcast How Can I Help? “When you are on your own, you feel more independent and like you are personally responsible for your stuff,” she says. “This catapults many who were messy before to become neat as a reflection of feeling the need to be a successful adult.”
هذه القصة مأخوذة من طبعة January - February 2024 من Good House Keeping - US.
ابدأ النسخة التجريبية المجانية من Magzter GOLD لمدة 7 أيام للوصول إلى آلاف القصص المتميزة المنسقة وأكثر من 9,000 مجلة وصحيفة.
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هذه القصة مأخوذة من طبعة January - February 2024 من Good House Keeping - US.
ابدأ النسخة التجريبية المجانية من Magzter GOLD لمدة 7 أيام للوصول إلى آلاف القصص المتميزة المنسقة وأكثر من 9,000 مجلة وصحيفة.
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“OK, OK, just take a breath.” If that’s what a friend advises after you panic-share about a major-anxiety-inducing situation — your teen taking his maiden solo voyage behind the wheel, work instability, another high-stakes world crisis dinging your phone every few minutes — it’s probably because they hate seeing you so on edge. But also, your friend is offering an effective means of slowing your spin. “The way you breathe affects anxiety, and anxiety affects how you breathe,” says James Nestor, author of Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art. “It’s a two-way street, and while anxiety isn’t a conscious choice, our breathing is.”
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There was a time, earlier in my marriage, when every morning as I walked into the kitchen I braced myself for the rage and resentment that would well up in me.Cupboards left open. Dirty dishes in the sink. Coffee cups strewn around the house. And usually a pair of slippers or shoes, with inside-out socks, on the floor somewhere nearby. Even when I had left the house spotless the night before, I’d wake to a scene of disarray — the mess my husband had left behind on his way out the door for work.I didn’t know which scenario seemed worse, my husband’s consciously expecting me to clean up these messes or his truly not noticing them at all. I found myself silently tallying these small resentments, furious and flummoxed in turn that he seemed oblivious to things that needed to be tidied up around the house. It seemed as if he was always waiting for me to tell him what had to be done, as if he was incapable of noticing the mess himself even when he was creating it.
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