How Much Would You Pay for Inner Peace?

The world of woo-woo has gone mainstream, so I embarked on a $16,000 retreat to see the face of God. To my great surprise, it worked...sort of.

- DAVE HOLMES

MEDITATION IS A SIMPLE, FREE, AND TIME-honored practice that focuses the mind, reduces stress, and sits menacingly on my daily to-do list like a terrible chore. Oh, I want to meditate, and I know I'll feel better after I've done it, but the notion of spending quiet time alone with my thoughts has an appeal just under cleaning the gutters.

The effects of meditation are profound and positive, but they are also slow and gradual, which is why I say no thanks. I want a monastic level of inner peace, and I want it with the speed of a DoorDash delivery. I am American, after all.

So you can imagine my relief when I found out about 40 Years of Zen, a brain-optimization retreat that promises all the benefits of 40 years' worth of meditation in only five days. It is the product of entrepreneur Dave Asprey, who is known as the "Father of Biohacking." I know him as the guy who got me to put butter in my coffee through his Bulletproof Coffee brand. Participants in his 40 Years of Zen are promised "powerful, immersive neurofeedback and education" plus "biohacking and life-changing inner work to enhance your brain and life"-possibly to the point of being able to make sense of what all that means. Tuition is around $16,000, but they let me do it for free. A chance to optimize my brain, do some serenity maxing, and forge lasting connections with people who have an extra $16k lying around? Let's do this.